Letting It Go and Late

Yes, I'm late.  Not "late" in the way in which one might be expecting a baby but rather, late getting the L post done.  I was in a bit of a funk most of the weekend.  Partly because of work and partly because of the Egg Donor.

I think that some weeks I spend about half my week planning what work I'm going to end up doing over the weekend.  I decided on Friday afternoon, to just Let It Go.  I wasn't going to do any work over the weekend.  I was going to catch up on home stuff, maybe a little trapshooting paperwork.  We had about 38 boxes of trophies arrive at the house last week and I had to open all of them and inventory and make sure I didn't get something that was broken.

Sometimes I spend part of my day planning what work I'm going to take home with me because I don't have them time to get it done during the day.  I'm trying to Let That Go too.

The Girl got a letter from her mother and, in an instant, she's fully back into believing everything that the Egg Donor says and it's got me so tied up in knots that I couldn't sleep last night and have been on the verge of tears all morning.  I'm starting to feel like this is a blog about the Egg Donor and not about our life.  I know The Girl wants, so badly, to have a good relationship with her mother and because of that she will overlook some of the lies.  The lies drive me insane.  I want to protect her and keep her from being exposed to the lies. 

She's twenty years old and I have to Let It Go.  I have to let her be hurt and be there the pick up the pieces.  I can't keep pointing out all the lies because I don't know anymore whether I'm doing it to help The Girl or to make myself look better.  I don't feel like I've ever been saying "Hey she sucks and this is why I'm better", but I feel like that could be the perception should I continue to point out faults.  So I have to Let It Go.

Yesterday, I went to our Gun Club and kept score for an event.  If you're not familiar with the sport, it's sort of hard to explain, but basically each shooter shoots five shots from five different positions.  Each time they change position their score is read and then you total the hit targets at the end of 25.  The shooters calls "pull", they shoot and either hit it or miss.  In the event they miss, I call out "loss!".  There is a rhythm to every squad of shooters and it's busy enough that you really don't have time to think about anything else.  It was great.  I just sat and watched and called out losses and wrote scores for about 3 hours.  I Let It Go for a while.

Let It Go.  My new mantra.