What am I doing?

For some reason, people close to me think that I am a very organized person.  I don't say that to build myself up because I am the one person around me who doesn't think that to be the case.

I become completely paralyzed by lack or organization yet I keep having it in my life.  I hate to start a new project or even continue an existing project when everything around me is a mess.  Last week, on a whim I spent the entire evening working on filing personal documents that hadn't been filed for almost two years just so I could use the table those documents were on to take some pictures.

In addition to my life as a Safety Director, in which I generally work 50-55 hours per week, I am a wife to Brown-Eyed Man, Step-mom to Boy and Girl and up until a few months ago, the loving best friend to the most beautiful black dog in the entire world: Princess Buckwheat Daisy (she just went by Daisy).

In my "spare" time I'm the President of a huge trapshooting association (western US and Canada), the secretary of the state trapshooting association (one of them), the wife of the President of the other state trapshooting association, the chair of a utility notification center board of directors and a member of several sub-committees to that board, and I occassionally serve on a panel or hearing commmittee, or industry safety committee here and there.  You would think that organization might be the way to keep it all going.  It would probably help.  Maybe I need to document my attempts to become more organized so that I'll keep up with them.  I did take a picture of my office "Before" so that I can show everyone how great it looks "After", but I'm not very close to "after" yet.

Brown-Eyed Man has recently started a business and guess who his webmaster is?  The same person who knew nothing about building or maintaining websites until about 3 months ago.  I'm also doing PR for him, customer service, etc.  Don't get me wrong.  He makes some things that I could never ever make.  Never.  We couldn't have this business without him.

I make lists all day of things that I will do when I get home.  I am so motivated to get those things done while I'm at work, but when I get home I just want to crochet a scarf or watch football.

I need help. I need one of those organizer people to come to my house and help me.  The problem is that I would spend weeks before she came organizing everything myself so I didn't look bad when she got there.

Maybe I think that posting all of this will give me the drive to get things organized so that in case anyone ever reads this, they'll see that I succeeded.

We're having ice cream cake in the conference room right now.  So, all of this organization is going to have to be put on hold.  I have priorities.