As Berniece empties her house of all things she no longer needs or wants while she packs her life up to move away from me (or to move to where her husband is - if you want to be positive about it), I have been the recipient of all kinds of good stuff: a crystal devilied egg tray, fancy tooth picks, Amway saran wrap, three board games (that no one will play with me), and yesterday I added a Nordic Track to my loot.
Back in the late 90's, I had a Nordic Track. I'm not sure how I got it. Something to do with the surgeon who lived next door to my parents. Anyway, I loved it. I used it every day. It was set up in front of my dresser and there was a mirror on top of the dresser. I looked GREAT while I was imagining myself cross country skiing across Sweden.
Yesterday I set up my new Nordic Track in the spare room, in front of the dresser which also has a mirror on it. I don't look as good as I used to look while skiing through Sweden. My belly is bigger. So is my ass.
A few weeks ago, I downloaded Season One of Mad Men so I can figure out what the heck is going on with this show. So, last night I watched another episode while I skied. I just realized Flo from the Progressive commercials is one of the office ladies.
I can tell you this much, there is no way I could be a bi-athlete. I was panting so hard after 30 minutes that it would have been impossible to stop and fire a gun accurately.
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